WHO said time heals all wounds? I often wonder if those people ever lost someone they loved? My beloved Aunt died in 2002 right before Christmas of that year. She wanted to live so badly but her failing kidney would not allow such a request. My Dad, an Army retired E6 soldier, died Nov 21 of 2008. His passing has left such a deep void within me that I find it difficult to talk about his death without crying. My step-mother appears lost in some sort of time warp of sadness. She is not very healthy herself but I genuinely respect her ability to continue with living throughout all the dark and sad times. She is a strong woman and I enjoy her company.
I have come to believe through the death of my Dad that time is no one's friend and time does not heal anything, it just prolongs the feelings of losing someone you loved until such time that something you do, something you say, or something someone else says creates a feeling of such deep loss. I hope I can find 'friends' that will talk with me about their experiences with the loss of a loved one and the relationship with time.
I am trying to understand HOW time seems to have become such an intimate healing process...I would like to believe it is a healer. Come on, try out my expressions, my beliefs as they are currently set...I believe I can change to a more positive belief that TIME can heal all things, I just want more substance. Show me the difference like an origami bird.
I do look forward to talking about this thing we call 'time'. Until then I will continue to believe time is not a healer.
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I completely know what you mean with this time heals what? article! Even to this day I still go through my cell phone contacts every once in a while to delete numbers that I don't need and each time I run across "Opa's" name and number and it hits me all over again that he is gone....that I can't call him.....and all over again as if it just happened I find myself crying. I cannot bring myself to delete his number and plan to keep it in my phone as long as I can and even when I get a new phone, I will keep it in the contact list that is saved online every night when Verizon does their updates......so I definitely know what you mean. Time has had no effect on helping me to 'get it' that he is not here anymore. Perhaps I will feel differently in another year or so.....but I highly doubt it. It makes me feel better to have his number still in my phone....kind of like he is still here and I can call him anytime even though in reality....I can't. For right now....I prefer my own little world....where he is still in it.
ReplyDeleteWith love....
Cass
I too know that feeling of time heals what? Losing my Aunt Rose a couple of years ago still seems "not so." Every time I hear that the NY Yankees are playing a baseball game or I come back from a meeting that went great. I want to call and share. I just recently returned to Nashville from one of the most amazing journeys - Tribute To The Troops Ride, honoring our fallen heroes and I naturally wanted to share this with her. I like you Cass picked up the phone to make the call. She's not there, but she is there...there in my heart, my memories. She was on every leg of that journey over the weekend and I believe she is on my journey everyday. This is an amazing website!
ReplyDeleteLove and blessings - Shar'n